![]() ![]() If Baba Yaga followed, there was a good chance she could catch up and roast him like a marshmallow. The only problem was that it was a long passage. A mile up to the right had a man-made exit that spilled back up to the forest. Jack blocked out the rising crescendo of Baba Yaga’s hissing and pictured the map again. He needed to get topside to join the others so they could take her down. He’d gotten a good lead on her-maybe a few hundred yards-but he had no way of knowing if he’d eventually run into a dead end. He got it switched on to see an ominous blob approaching from the right. Jack forced himself up onto his feet again, stumbling backwards and fumbling for the tracker. He pushed onto his knees, nursing what felt like bruised ribs and a sprained wrist, and then paled as an unmistakable sensation traveled up the arm he’d used to push himself up. He gasped as it knocked the wind out of him and gritted his teeth, his mind screaming at him to get up and run, run, run. ![]() ![]() Jack raced around one corner too sharply and slipped on a piece of dung, crashing hard on his right side. Icy claws of fear squeezed his heart with every breath as he ran, relying on the night vision goggles, the glimpse he’d gotten of the map, and his own instincts to figure out where to go. He didn’t dare look behind him to see if the dragon had risen from the ground yet, but the deafening hiss that assaulted his ears meant she’d woken up. Pieces of dragon dung flew off him and hit the ground behind him in miniature chunks. You guys are the reason I went into the paper business, so, uh, goodnight, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe.His booted feet pounded out an insane, frantic rhythm underneath him as he raced into the cavern across from Baba Yaga’s den at a dead sprint. Alright everybody, you know I kid, you know I kid. ![]() Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Angela, where’s Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn’t see you there behind that grain of rice. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one. Michael: Jim, you’re 6’11 and you weigh 90 pounds. When Michael returns to the office, he has a few roasts of his own: We’re stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, well it’s true.
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